a minor complaint

I guess that

this

is what it means to be 'grown up',

to

always feel a little alone,

that

no one else can save you or clean up your messes.

To be an adult

is

to shoulder the burden of a thousand responsibilities

and to

feel guilty when you're having too much fun.

***

Question: Is this how it's always going to be?

Answer: I want my childhood back.

matrix kitten

Few things in life are better than:

A kitten & puppies play fighting to the sounds of 'The Matrix' soundtrack:




or

baby meerkats coming out of their burrows for the first time:

go here to see!

dead bird

What a sad little thing you are, your wings clipped with ice and your legs sticking straight up and towards the sky. Your unmoving eyes are frozen shut, cold and unseeing in the swirl of the snowy winter air.

What a pathetic, hopeless sight you make. A tiny little creature, plump bellied and stiff legged, exposed and prone. You rest there on your final perch, flipped over on your back, mute and deaf.

It is a sad thing to see how dejected a creature looks when it has frozen to death.

Looking at you, I can see first hand how cruel winter really is, how difficult it is to manage the long and merciless nights. How hard it is to make ends meet, to find a warm place to nest for the coldest hours. And God knows, that in this weather, these past few evenings of temperatures in the range of ten below zero, staying alive is not an adequate word. 'Survival' is.

Survival. What a wretched word, but a glorious one, too. The difficulties, the pain and the suffering, the amazing highs and the bitter lows; this is to survive and be an adult.

It's a human problem, shrunk down and molded to the animal condition. Encapsulated in the form of a tiny finch, a sad, pathetic, and very dead little bird.

You, little creature, are my frozen metaphor for the harsh realities of winter.

arovane vs sufjan stevens

The Aussie blog has been updated. Go take a lookey if you're interested.

It's funny how the New Year has been stirring up travel lust in me. The urge to get up and just go somewhere has been overwhelming lately. I find myself watching the travel channel and reading travel memoirs in large quantities lately. (I normally never watch television.) I keep checking travel websites obsessively, looking for an affordable vacation to go on. I don't know what it is, but ever since Australia, traveling has gotten under my skin. When can I get up and go again?!

Speaking of travel, I watched a comedy the other night (thank you, Netflix) that was a very accurate take on culture shock in India. The film is called 'Outsourced' and had some very realistic depictions of everyday urban life in India. I loved it. It reminded me of my travels in that beautiful country, and all the funny mishaps I had as an American. Everything from going to the toilet (oh my god, it's just a hole in the ground!) to being followed by curious Indians was covered. I chuckled and even laughed at parts, because it reminded me so much of my own travels.

Which, by the way, is wonderful. Culture shock is invigorating. I mean, after you get over the 'dear mother of God, what is going ON?!' aspect of it. I don't think I've actually had true chill-me-to-my-bones culture shock, but the first time you squat over a dirty and dismal hole in the ground to go to the bathroom with no toilet paper, you start to respect the term 'cultural values.'

In other news, I've been listening to a lot of music lately ... of course. I guess it's part of my job description as a musician. I've been re-discovering old Cd's of mine. 'Atol Scrap' by Arovane has been dusted off and put on constant repeat. You need a good sound system for it, but what a sophisticated, genuine example of electronic music. I also listened to that oldie by Sufjan Stevens, 'Enjoy Your Rabbit'. That recording is a prime example of folksy electronic. I'm not sure there's any other way to describe it. It's vintage Sufjan, before he ever became the Mr. Stevens. It's not sophisticated the way 'Atol Scrap' is, but for an old recording (2001) it's surprisingly well done.

On the same topic ... would anyone else agree that Michael Jackson started going downhill during the 'Bad' years? 'Thriller' and 'Off the Wall' are such classic gold standards of Quincy Jones production, but then 'Bad', another Jones produced album, sort of slacks off. I was disappointed while re-listening to that record.

So, I think that's all there is to report for now. I mean, obviously there's more going on in my life than Michael Jackson and 'Outsourced', but I never feel comfortable posting about overly personal things online. So, I feed you the scraps of my life instead. :)

Have a safe and happy weekend.