go here to access it:
http://www.flipworldwide.blogspot.com/
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
subway reviews part II: the funny and the ugly
Another smattering of HopStop (http://www.hopstop.com) reviews of subway lines. I posted some a few months ago, and have found some more funny (but true) ratings.
G Train:
* Everytime I am with a friend on the G platform I always go: "Hey, did you hear that?" When they say "Hear what?" I say "Nothing. You hear nothing because nothing is coming. There will never be a train. We will be here for the rest of our natural born lives." Then we usually cry and remain inconsolable for a significant period of time.
* the G train is like your one lame son that never made it in life...you know its worthless but you still love it to death!!!
* Pray! The G train revelation happens as often as the insemination of virgin Mary by the Holy Ghost.
* THE G stands for "Ghost Train" because it is only there in spirit. It is a memory. It barely ever comes!
* The G is sort of the red-headed step child of NYC transit ... It's a crap train, but at least its reliably crappy.
* You wait so long that you get to a point where you feel like it could be coming any minute or maybe you just blacked out and missed it.
* During the transit strike earlier this year, the G ran as if nothing had changed. . .which is to say that there was a few days between trains.
* There is a saying that the G train in fact does not even exist. It is Just an MTA PR.
* It is the short bus of subways.
* This is the train that time forgot.
* Waiting for this train is like waiting for water to boil 20 times over
* if i had to take the G train every day, i would probably shoot myself in the goddamned face.
* I think the point of this train is to make all the others look timely and clean.
-- My Review: Personally, I have to agree with many of these comments. The G train is slow, shorter than the rest, and has some sketchy riders. However, I always want to root for it, because it's like the beloved underdog everyone wants to succeed in life but probably never will.
L Train:
* Lot of hot hipsters on this train. running joke..."I simply can/t get on the L today I don't have anything to wear!"
-- L train = Williamsburg, Brooklyn = Really Annoying Hipster Kids
J Train:
* A scenic overhead flight through Brooklyn, the J is like taking the monorail at Disneyland in 1964. That is, if the monorail went through Brooklyn, Mickey was babbling to himself next to you in a pile of his own mouse filth, and Cinderella was making out with some guy who is not her baby's daddy next to you. This train ride is worth at least $2.50
* I could teach morse code to everyone at the station before that train comes!!
* don't feel safe at all on this train at night, but at least my street cred goes up every time I take it after 2 am.
* THE CANAL ST AND BOWERY STATIONS ON THIS LINE ARE FROM SOME HORROR MOVIE. ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!!
* there is something evil in the uptown canal station
-- My Review: Honestly, I know nothing about this train, but I do know the Canal St. Station, and it is indeed a creepy (and smelly!) place. I highly suggest going late at night if you want to witness the ghosts of MTA past.
N Train:
* Half the time you can't tell if you are in a night club or train. I love it. All the little ghetto kids think its there own car and are bumping thier music from thier phones so everyone else can share in thier experience. It's the best coming up from Brooklyn.
* this train takes so long most days, waiting on the 30th Ave platform, we almost have to resort to canibalism.
* This Line Stinks like Cat ASS!
* It always smells like decaying homeless people.
And, my personal favorite review of the R Line, because it is so damn true:
* Good luck catching a train after Atlantic Ave in Brooklyn. This train is slower than a retarded Grandma on pain killers.
G Train:
* Everytime I am with a friend on the G platform I always go: "Hey, did you hear that?" When they say "Hear what?" I say "Nothing. You hear nothing because nothing is coming. There will never be a train. We will be here for the rest of our natural born lives." Then we usually cry and remain inconsolable for a significant period of time.
* the G train is like your one lame son that never made it in life...you know its worthless but you still love it to death!!!
* Pray! The G train revelation happens as often as the insemination of virgin Mary by the Holy Ghost.
* THE G stands for "Ghost Train" because it is only there in spirit. It is a memory. It barely ever comes!
* The G is sort of the red-headed step child of NYC transit ... It's a crap train, but at least its reliably crappy.
* You wait so long that you get to a point where you feel like it could be coming any minute or maybe you just blacked out and missed it.
* During the transit strike earlier this year, the G ran as if nothing had changed. . .which is to say that there was a few days between trains.
* There is a saying that the G train in fact does not even exist. It is Just an MTA PR.
* It is the short bus of subways.
* This is the train that time forgot.
* Waiting for this train is like waiting for water to boil 20 times over
* if i had to take the G train every day, i would probably shoot myself in the goddamned face.
* I think the point of this train is to make all the others look timely and clean.
-- My Review: Personally, I have to agree with many of these comments. The G train is slow, shorter than the rest, and has some sketchy riders. However, I always want to root for it, because it's like the beloved underdog everyone wants to succeed in life but probably never will.
L Train:
* Lot of hot hipsters on this train. running joke..."I simply can/t get on the L today I don't have anything to wear!"
-- L train = Williamsburg, Brooklyn = Really Annoying Hipster Kids
J Train:
* A scenic overhead flight through Brooklyn, the J is like taking the monorail at Disneyland in 1964. That is, if the monorail went through Brooklyn, Mickey was babbling to himself next to you in a pile of his own mouse filth, and Cinderella was making out with some guy who is not her baby's daddy next to you. This train ride is worth at least $2.50
* I could teach morse code to everyone at the station before that train comes!!
* don't feel safe at all on this train at night, but at least my street cred goes up every time I take it after 2 am.
* THE CANAL ST AND BOWERY STATIONS ON THIS LINE ARE FROM SOME HORROR MOVIE. ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!!
* there is something evil in the uptown canal station
-- My Review: Honestly, I know nothing about this train, but I do know the Canal St. Station, and it is indeed a creepy (and smelly!) place. I highly suggest going late at night if you want to witness the ghosts of MTA past.
N Train:
* Half the time you can't tell if you are in a night club or train. I love it. All the little ghetto kids think its there own car and are bumping thier music from thier phones so everyone else can share in thier experience. It's the best coming up from Brooklyn.
* this train takes so long most days, waiting on the 30th Ave platform, we almost have to resort to canibalism.
* This Line Stinks like Cat ASS!
* It always smells like decaying homeless people.
And, my personal favorite review of the R Line, because it is so damn true:
* Good luck catching a train after Atlantic Ave in Brooklyn. This train is slower than a retarded Grandma on pain killers.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
an entry about dumpster diving, tacos and beer.
random bits and pieces ...
favorite signs in new york city:
"no bathing" in the bathrooms at penn station
good place to get $4.95 tacos in brooklyn:
sunset park in brooklyn & 7th ave in park slope
great location to go dumpster diving in:
soho -- the area has good discarded furniture and books, especially if you like 'arty' stuff
there are too many hair salons along:
7th ave in park slope
favorite sunday activity (other than sleeping late & watching flavor of love 2 on vh1):
going to the drumming circle in prospect park. visit on mother's day for a special african celebration ritual.
yesterday i went out with a friend. this is worthy of note, because i don't really spend money 'out on the town' too often. went to cafe steinhof (http://www.cafesteinhof.com/) for dinner and beer. good food, and very filling. nice service, too. then me and the friend checked out a movie, black dahlia. not sure what to say about it, except entertaining in parts, delightfully gory when it needed to be, but otherwise flat and with rather crappy actors. there were a few standout scenes, however -- the one around the dinner table was especially entertaining. anyone who has seen the film will know what i'm talking about.
afterwards we came back to my apartment and sipped wine on the roof. i have a wonderful view of the manhattan skyline, and we spent awhile naming the various landmarks sprawled out in front of us. i will have to get a photo at some point of my view, because it really is postcard perfect. the empire state building, woolworth building, chrysler building, city hall ... it's all there. very beautiful.
i have a parental unit coming into town in the morning, and i will be showing her the sights of my new neighborhood, which she hasn't seen yet. my old one was just okay, but the new one is far better. i'm looking forward to showing mommo around, and hopefully catching a peek inside the met for an art fix.
also, moma's free fridays = happiness.
that's it for now ... ciao!
favorite signs in new york city:
"no bathing" in the bathrooms at penn station
good place to get $4.95 tacos in brooklyn:
sunset park in brooklyn & 7th ave in park slope
great location to go dumpster diving in:
soho -- the area has good discarded furniture and books, especially if you like 'arty' stuff
there are too many hair salons along:
7th ave in park slope
favorite sunday activity (other than sleeping late & watching flavor of love 2 on vh1):
going to the drumming circle in prospect park. visit on mother's day for a special african celebration ritual.
yesterday i went out with a friend. this is worthy of note, because i don't really spend money 'out on the town' too often. went to cafe steinhof (http://www.cafesteinhof.com/) for dinner and beer. good food, and very filling. nice service, too. then me and the friend checked out a movie, black dahlia. not sure what to say about it, except entertaining in parts, delightfully gory when it needed to be, but otherwise flat and with rather crappy actors. there were a few standout scenes, however -- the one around the dinner table was especially entertaining. anyone who has seen the film will know what i'm talking about.
afterwards we came back to my apartment and sipped wine on the roof. i have a wonderful view of the manhattan skyline, and we spent awhile naming the various landmarks sprawled out in front of us. i will have to get a photo at some point of my view, because it really is postcard perfect. the empire state building, woolworth building, chrysler building, city hall ... it's all there. very beautiful.
i have a parental unit coming into town in the morning, and i will be showing her the sights of my new neighborhood, which she hasn't seen yet. my old one was just okay, but the new one is far better. i'm looking forward to showing mommo around, and hopefully catching a peek inside the met for an art fix.
also, moma's free fridays = happiness.
that's it for now ... ciao!
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Saturday, September 09, 2006
my little pony: 11th avenue edition
Today's strange event:
* A miniature pony walking down 11th avenue.
Yes, a pony was stomping through the streets of New York. I was mildly surprised by it (everything seems less odd once you've lived here long enough), but when I realized the pony was the star attraction of a kid's birthday party, it all seemed quite normal and mundane.
* A miniature pony walking down 11th avenue.
Yes, a pony was stomping through the streets of New York. I was mildly surprised by it (everything seems less odd once you've lived here long enough), but when I realized the pony was the star attraction of a kid's birthday party, it all seemed quite normal and mundane.
a plea
This is not going to be an entertaining post. What follows is disturbing (to me, at least), not funny in the slightest and involves an innocent animal that has been hurt. If this sort of thing bothers you, stop reading. However, I'd encourage everyone who is able to please pay attention to this post -- it will make you think twice about how dispose of your trash and interact with wildlife.
This past Thursday I was in lovely Prospect Park on a stroll. It's always very nice to just go and sit there and collect one's thoughts. That day, however, I was with a friend and feeling more active than usual, and so we were walking around the various trails in 'Urban Explorer' mode.
The sound of a saxophone being played caught our attention as we walked down one of the busier trails. It had a mellow and sweet sound, and naturally my friend and I went to go investigate. We picked our way through the grass, avoiding litter dropped by fellow park visitors. Glass, bits of plastic, pull tabs from cola cans and gum wrappers were underfoot as we walked closer to the reedy sound of the sax. My friend had opted to go barefoot and I remember begging him to put his shoes back on. "God only knows what you might step on out here," I remember telling him.
We were almost to the saxophonist when my friend noted a beautiful white squirrel sitting under a clump of trees. He wasn't moving, and his wide eyes were looking us right in our faces. Captivated, we stepped closer and were surprised when he had made no sign of moving away from us. Thinking he was tame, we got even closer, until we noticed the squirrel couldn't move -- a front paw was stuck between a metal wire than someone had wrapped around a discarded piece of fencing they had propped up against one of the trees. The squirrel began gnawing frantically at the fence post and wire to try and loosen itself, to no avail.
My heart sank into my stomach. I felt sick. This poor creature was obviously suffering -- eyes wide in terror, limb being cut off by wire, claws stretched out in hideous pain -- and the rigid lines of his body revealed just how horrible this animal was feeling. My friend tried to loosen the wire from around the squirrel's paw, but the poor creature only began squawking out in pain. It was loud and eerie coming from a squirrel, the sort of sound you never want to hear and can never forget.
We had almost freed the squirrel when suddenly, in a last ditch effort, the animal pulled away from the wire so hard that his entire talon and the flesh connected to it came off. He scampered up the nearest tree leaving a piece of his body behind him.
At this point, of course, I was in tears. My friend and I apologized profusely to the squirrel, said a little prayer that he would be okay, and then began picking up all the litter surrounding the trees. As we slammed the trash into nearby garbage bins, I began to feel disgusted with people. What sort of jerk would leave WIRE out where an animal could catch himself on it? The same type of person who threw glass bottles on the grass fields where toddlers play, I concluded. Only a human would be so thoughtless as to pollute the environment in such a destructive, needless way.
The point of my posting is this -- if you're out, please don't litter. Clean up after yourself. There's no excuse to do otherwise. Innocent animals are hurt, and the people who have to help these creatures are often left traumatized by witnessing the pain of a fellow creature.
Friday, September 08, 2006
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