Another smattering of HopStop (http://www.hopstop.com) reviews of subway lines. I posted some a few months ago, and have found some more funny (but true) ratings.
G Train:
* Everytime I am with a friend on the G platform I always go: "Hey, did you hear that?" When they say "Hear what?" I say "Nothing. You hear nothing because nothing is coming. There will never be a train. We will be here for the rest of our natural born lives." Then we usually cry and remain inconsolable for a significant period of time.
* the G train is like your one lame son that never made it in life...you know its worthless but you still love it to death!!!
* Pray! The G train revelation happens as often as the insemination of virgin Mary by the Holy Ghost.
* THE G stands for "Ghost Train" because it is only there in spirit. It is a memory. It barely ever comes!
* The G is sort of the red-headed step child of NYC transit ... It's a crap train, but at least its reliably crappy.
* You wait so long that you get to a point where you feel like it could be coming any minute or maybe you just blacked out and missed it.
* During the transit strike earlier this year, the G ran as if nothing had changed. . .which is to say that there was a few days between trains.
* There is a saying that the G train in fact does not even exist. It is Just an MTA PR.
* It is the short bus of subways.
* This is the train that time forgot.
* Waiting for this train is like waiting for water to boil 20 times over
* if i had to take the G train every day, i would probably shoot myself in the goddamned face.
* I think the point of this train is to make all the others look timely and clean.
-- My Review: Personally, I have to agree with many of these comments. The G train is slow, shorter than the rest, and has some sketchy riders. However, I always want to root for it, because it's like the beloved underdog everyone wants to succeed in life but probably never will.
L Train:
* Lot of hot hipsters on this train. running joke..."I simply can/t get on the L today I don't have anything to wear!"
-- L train = Williamsburg, Brooklyn = Really Annoying Hipster Kids
J Train:
* A scenic overhead flight through Brooklyn, the J is like taking the monorail at Disneyland in 1964. That is, if the monorail went through Brooklyn, Mickey was babbling to himself next to you in a pile of his own mouse filth, and Cinderella was making out with some guy who is not her baby's daddy next to you. This train ride is worth at least $2.50
* I could teach morse code to everyone at the station before that train comes!!
* don't feel safe at all on this train at night, but at least my street cred goes up every time I take it after 2 am.
* THE CANAL ST AND BOWERY STATIONS ON THIS LINE ARE FROM SOME HORROR MOVIE. ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!!
* there is something evil in the uptown canal station
-- My Review: Honestly, I know nothing about this train, but I do know the Canal St. Station, and it is indeed a creepy (and smelly!) place. I highly suggest going late at night if you want to witness the ghosts of MTA past.
N Train:
* Half the time you can't tell if you are in a night club or train. I love it. All the little ghetto kids think its there own car and are bumping thier music from thier phones so everyone else can share in thier experience. It's the best coming up from Brooklyn.
* this train takes so long most days, waiting on the 30th Ave platform, we almost have to resort to canibalism.
* This Line Stinks like Cat ASS!
* It always smells like decaying homeless people.
And, my personal favorite review of the R Line, because it is so damn true:
* Good luck catching a train after Atlantic Ave in Brooklyn. This train is slower than a retarded Grandma on pain killers.
No comments:
Post a Comment