dear 2008,

Dear 2008,
Welcome to Planet Earth. I hope you find it to your liking here. I'm sure you'll bring all kinds of excitement and misery alike -- births, deaths, dreams into fruition, incidents and accidents, peace marches and death matches, great works of art, new friendships, new scientific discoveries and old archaeological finds. Under your tenure there will be, undoubtedly, wars and fires, hurricanes and volcano blasts, sunny days, cloudy evenings, rain and snow, sleet and ice, warm summer evenings and long, cold winter twilights. Some things will remain the same, such as MTV, basketball players being paid too much to shoot a ball around, and kids cheating on exams in school. Other things will change, like my age, who will become president, what colors are 'in' or 'out' next season, and the like.

There are a few things I want to say before all of these things get set in motion, however. To begin with, I'm tired of some things in my own life, and I'm sure other people can relate as well. For example, I'm really quite over being force fed what is HOT or NOT on every magazine cover; I'm tired of being told if only I were blonder, or taller, or thinner, or had a bigger butt, I'd be somehow more desirable and therefore worthy of the good things in life.

I'm done with half baked friends, and the types of fake people who smile at you in your presence and then turn around and call you every snarky name in the book once you are absent. Magenta may be so last season, but why doesn't anyone ever say treating other people like crap is, too?

I have some requests on behalf of the citizens of New York City, as well. For one thing, landlords need to stop raising their rents so high. When Brooklyn gets too expensive to live in, what is left? Queens? (Ugh, the indignity!)

People looking to pick up a little change need to come up with more inventive acts. I've seen you play a guitar, an African harp, steel drums, keyboards, sing, play buckets like they were drums, break dance, do Michael Jackson impersonations, protest march against the Iraq War, sell knickknacks, hawk newspapers, try to barter off pirated DVDs and stolen batteries, ask for change, scrounge for lost money under vending machines, sell furniture on the street, design jewelry and offer me hot dogs for $2. Try something new. How about a space launch from 42nd Street? Or a caged liger (not lion, not tiger, but liger) act in Washington Square Park?

Girls need to put their Ugg boots to rest, everyone needs to put down their cell phones and pay attention to the world for five minutes, and, in addition, it would be great if Star Bucks stopped proliferating on every street corner in Manhattan.

It remains to be seen what kind of year you will be, 2008. I only hope it is a good one for everybody, full of cheer and happy moments. For me personally, it will be my third year in NYC and a milestone -- I've made it this long here. Here's too another few years of life in this wonderful, mad, crazy city in this wonderful, mad, crazy new year.

Love,
me