me? or the subway map behind my head?

Dear Gorgeous Man Who Is Sitting Across From Me On The Subway,

I just want to say that you are very handsome. You look like a cross between a male model and one of my ex boyfriends (the one with the beautiful face). Are you gay? I can't tell, because you are dressed nicely in pressed denim and have your legs crossed ... but then again, you might just be European.

Also, I noticed you were looking at me when I walked on to the train just now. I've been sitting here a few moments and I keep catching you looking over in my direction. I have no idea if you're looking at me or the subway map behind my head. Which is it? I want to look up and see where you're looking at (me? or map?) but that would be a little too forward.

It would be really nice if there were a way to tell these things. If I think you're looking at the subway map I feel like an idiot for catching your eye for the 0.02 seconds that we just shared. However, if you're looking at me, is it because I look cute today, or because I have dirt on my face? If you think I'm cute, then should I look up again and have another 0.02 seconds of eye contact time? Or if there's dirt on my face, can you give me some kind of signal so I can fix it and end my humiliation?

It's kind of freaking me out that you look a tiny bit like my ex boyfriend. Not the last one, but the one before him. The crazy one. I still think you're gorgeous, though. I just wish I could figure out what you're looking at.

Can you give me some kind of clue?

Your friend (?),

The Girl Sitting Across From You

P.S. Also, I've got to know. Are you gay or European?