dreary day

Dear New York,

Please stop raining.

Love,

me

***

Seriously, though. All the weather has been doing for the past several days is blustering about, full of Gloom and Doom. The sky has a leaden look to it, raindrops keep falling from the sky and the trees are full of plastic bags that have blown into their branches from all the wind. I feel like I'm stuck in monsoon season in South Asia. The subway tunnels have become dripping and damp caverns and the sidewalks have turned into ponds. I'm expecting everything to start growing mildew and slime soon. I'm reminded of a short story by Ray Bradbury about space travelers who wind up on a planet where it constantly rains, only to be taken over by man eating kudzu-like plants that grow constantly because of all the moisture.

It's true the rain has lessened in the past day or two, but it's still depressingly gray outside. I normally like wet weather, but this is getting excessive. I feel like I'm living in Seattle, not New York City.

On top of that, it's finals time again for me ... which means much stress and irritation at professors who demand idiotic papers and long answers to essay questions on exams. Trying to study while it's dismal outside makes the task much harder for some reason. This time last year I could study in a park somewhere and get some sunshine, but no such luck this season.

I'm also starting to feel obsessive about certain matters in my personal life. I am the sort of person who latches on to something and worries it to death. Literally. I beat dead horses and the whole bit. Maybe it's the fact I'm cooped up inside all day because of the crap weather, but I am starting to go a little nutty with all this thinking. Thinking, thinking, thinking. It never ceases. I try to fall asleep at night and I'm thinking. I attempt to study and I'm thinking. I write a paper for school and I'm thinking. I stare at my instrument and I'm thinking. Obsessively thinking. The truly irritating part is that it's never anything new. It is always the same thing, the same issue that is probably not fixable and is going to continue to drive me apeshit insane.

I keep hoping for a break in this weather. Perhaps with some sunshine and daisies I can get my mind off of matters that aren't going to be resolved anytime soon. But, then again ... this is me that we're talking about. So probably not. I like to think otherwise, though.

Anyway.

Enough about myself and how dreary April is.

Hopefully the next post will be much more uplifting to read. One can always dream, right? (Just kidding. It will be.)