lights and candles

My candle in the window isn't there anymore. (Is everything leaving me? Feels that way.) I don't know if you remember, but a while back I wrote about the comfort of a routine I had developed for evenings I was feeling lonely or low. I'd look out my window and would always see a candle flickering in the window of an apartment a few streets over. It was always such a warm and welcoming sight, and served as a reminder that there were other people out there, at home like me, enjoying the warmth of a flame.

Sadly, my candle is gone. I went to go look for it the past few nights, and it hasn't been there. This is a little too fitting for someone who is not feeling warmth or love right now! I keep losing things and people I love and depend on. Men, candles ... metaphors ... ugh.

Luckily, there's a new candle in a different window to cheer me up. In fact, the owner of this candle has Christmas lights all around the edge of their window, which glow bright white in little star shapes. They also have the red candle that burns on the windowsill. Love it.

The weather may be getting colder, but thank god for the holiday decorations. Like last year, people are out doing themselves in my neighborhood to display plastic lit up Santas, strings of lights and blinking technicolor snowflake ornaments. I might have to try and take some snaps of the Christmas display for this blog. There's something incredibly sweet about a family that takes the time to put up decorations. It shows some dedication to the holiday spirit.

I'm feeling sad right now, but at least I have my lights and blinking flakes and the like. I guess the world can't be totally gray if I have red and green colors flashing all over my nightly walk home from the subway.

But I still say ... life is a series of departures. My Christmas Candle in the Window will be departing after the holidays, and come January, all those decorations will be packed away to collect dust. I'd say that's pretty blue, and not at all a happy thought.